United Friendship of Shawn and Gus
by SupremeCommanderOfPencils
Summary: Lil' Shawn and Gus decide to outline the terms of their friendship.


_A Lil' Shawn and Gus story. The full title is United Friendship of Shawn and Gus, with Fist Bumps and Pineapple for All...but it was too long for the box...anywho, read n' review :)_

"What do you think?" Ten year old Shawn asked with a pleased grin at the sloppily scribbled-on piece of paper on the table before him.

"Your signature isn't very legible." Gus stated, peering over his friend's shoulder.

"Gus, it's my John Hancock, it's not supposed to be legible." Shawn held up the paper and shook eraser dust off of it.

"So, what's the next step?" Gus slid onto the picnic bench next to Shawn.

"It has to be validated before a witness," Shawn announced. "Maybe we can get my dad to help."

"I don't know, Shawn. He looks kind of busy. Maybe we should wait." Gus flashed a worried glance over to where Henry Spencer was working on the engine of his truck.

"Gus, don't be such a scaredy rabbit." Shawn replied. "Besides, if we ask while he's working, he won't have time to give us another life lesson. We'll just show him the document and then go get ice cream. Easy."

"Scaredy _cat_." Gus corrected.

"I am not! Just watch!" Shawn strode off toward his dad.

"No, that's the correct-" Gus shook his head as he followed his best friend. "Never mind."

Shawn stopped a few feet away from his father, clutching the paper close to his chest as he watched him fiddle with some bolts. "Dad? Can you read this as a witness and confirm that it's valid?"

Henry glanced up from his work, looking at the two boys and then at the paper with suspicion. "What'd you two come up with this time?"

"It's an official document of the terms and obligations of our friendship. We need a third party." said Gus.

Henry nodded his understanding and reached out for the paper.

"Wait!" Shawn thrust himself between his dad and the sheet. "Don't sully it with your oily hands! Gus," he motioned. "Would you read it, please?"

"Certainly." Gus snapped the paper crisply. "We, the undersigned, hereby declare ourselves to be best friends for life. The following are stipulations of the agreement."

Henry stared at them, hand coming up to cover a suspicious looking cough.

"Grammatical technicalities are to always be observed. Sentences ending with prepositions are frowned upon and may warrant a form of punishment to be determined by the offended party."

"Let me read the parts I wrote." Shawn tugged on the paper.

"You told me to read it!"

"But you don't have to read the whole thing!"

"Fine, but I want to keep holding it."

"Fine."

Henry rolled his eyes.

Shawn leaned over to read the next decree. "The possession of any food substance containing the delectable flavor of pineapple must be shared equally, under the exception of unshareable items such as popsicles or tic tacs, in which case it will go to Shawn."

"Wait a minute! I didn't agree to that part!" Gus protested. "Why don't I get it?"

"Because, according to section C of the friendship food guide, I have to try the free samples at the store to make sure they're good. I think it's only fair; they're going on a health food spree! Do you know what's in that stuff?"

"Rubber and pencil shavings." Henry inserted.

"Exactly." Shawn gave a firm nod of his head.

"I don't see why your mom's so fascinated with the stuff; it's tasteless and-"

Shawn blinked. "Can we discuss this later? There's business to attend to."

"Oh, right, sorry. Continue." Henry said with a tint of sarcasm, gesturing with his hand toward the makeshift document.

Gus cleared his throat. "A fist bump is to be instituted at all appropriate times, regardless of those present."

"I made the illustration." Shawn announced proudly as Gus turned the page about to reveal two hands, each with four stubby fingers, bumping each other. Henry nodded his admiration.

Shawn read his section, "Any back and forth arguing-"

"Disagreement." Gus corrected.

"Fine, _disagreement_. Any back and forth disagreements that may occur on the spot cannot exceed three minutes. If said disagreement continues past the designated period, it will be put on hold and discussed at a later, more convenient time."

Gus read the next line. "If at any time the two of us meet a questionable stranger, Shawn shall introduce himself first and never use Gus' real name so as not to give the stalker and/or possible murderer any information that could inform him of Gus' personal life."

Shawn took over. "And in so doing, gives Shawn permission to come up with any substitute name that pleases him at that time."

Gus continued, "Gus shall at any given time-"

"Let's skip that one." Shawn suggested.

"But this all has to be read in front of the witness!"

"Yeah, but I'll get in trouble!"

"Mr. Spencer, can you read lips?"

"I never had the need. I could confront anyone and have them spill their life story in five minutes. Ten tops."

"Plug your ears while I read this."

Henry's hands came up to cover his ears.

"Gus shall at any given time allow-"

"Wait!" Shawn motioned with his finger. "Turn around, Dad. We'll let you know when it's over."

Henry allowed a long-suffering sigh to slide past his lips as he turned to face the road.

"Ready now?" Gus asked testily.

"Go for it."

"Gus shall at any given time allow Shawn to copy his homework, with the exceptions of English homework, which cannot be plagiarized."

"You can turn around now." Shawn tugged his dad's sleeve. Henry turned back around, crossing his arms and motioning for them to continue.

Shawn glanced at the paper in Gus' hands before he quickly snatched it, ignoring his friend's word of protest. He snapped the paper and read the last line. "The breaking of any of these agreements shall be equally punished according to the official friendship law book. This hereby concludes our official friendship contract."

"I'm still working out the details on the law book." Gus added.

Henry released another small cough. "Do you, uh, need a witness for-"

"Don't be ridiculous, Dad. This was a legal document. The law book is just a guideline that states proper punishments."

"Excuse my ignorance." Henry turned back to the truck.

"Well, it's official," Shawn stated as he and Gus turned to go back to the picnic table. "We're best friends."

"Maybe now you'll stop copying the spelling sentences I write."

"Gus! That isn't plagiarism!"

"What is it then?" Gus crossed his arms stubbornly.

"... Carefully considered representation of a copyrighted work?"

Gus snorted with disgust.

"Oh, Shawn!" Henry called out from the driveway. "I catch you copying any of Gus' homework and there isn't going to be any contract that will keep me from grounding you."

"You weren't supposed to hear that part!" Shawn protested.

"I didn't hear it." Henry stepped forward, grabbing the paper. "I read it. Next time, don't use such thin paper, Shawn. I may not be able to read lips, but I can read backwards." He held the paper up to the light where the scrawled letters easily showed through to the other side. With a reproving tilt of his head, he put the paper back down on the table and went inside.

Shawn let out a sullen sigh and slumped down onto the bench. He frowned for a moment and then glanced sideways at Gus. "We can use cardstock."

"You know that's right!"

_Fun fact: this story was based off of our own kooky friendship pact :) _


End file.
